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Fire, Lightning, and Rain

by Signal Valley

/
1.
Set me on fire! I could rant but why bother There’s so much clutter in my head I can’t get anything out So it just builds and builds and builds Until everything just implodes It creates this black hole of sorts Where thoughts go to die And I wish I could hate this Hate losing the best ideas I’ll ever have But all I can do is laugh I WANT YOU TO TAKE A CAN OF GAS DUMP THE WHOLE THING ON ME UNTIL YOU CAN SMELL ME FROM THE NEXT TOWN OVER THEN I WANT YOU TO LIGHT A MATCH MAYBE LIGHT THE WHOLE MATCHBOX AND THROW IT AT ME AT WHICH POINT YOU WILL RUN AWAY YOU WILL NOT LOOK BACK BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT READY TO WATCH A HUMAN BEING MELT BEFORE YOUR VERY EYES I am a decaying carcass that lives in the back of your mind Your image of me will always be wrong somehow, no matter how you perceive me May I be a hero or a villain to you, I am everything and nothing Maybe I’m overthinking all of this It’s not like this is some sort of immolation There’s no reason for this, I just want to be not here anymore What hell hath I wrought to put me in this place What cruel and unusual punishment did I deserve What legacy am I leaving behind to those who love me What’s left to throw into the pyre
2.
I feed the fire, I feel the heat I feel the rhythm, I feel the beat I feel the pulse, I feel alive Into the ocean, I swiftly dive I’m chased in nightmares, by my future self It scratches and screeches, there’s no escape I’m running headfirst, into the abyss My tragedies and failures, all taking shape The shadows loom, but they don’t linger long This wave of stress, I will not prolong I wake up tired, and the fly’s on the wall It buzzes until I get up to swat it There’s breakfast on the table, been there for some time But I go back to bed ‘cause I forgot it There is a melody playing in my head I’ve got to record it, otherwise it’s gone forever Is this music thing really fulfilling? Well, is there water in the river?
3.
Antimodel 04:02
It comes in many shapes and sizes Many colors, many attitudes It comes in many different points of view Many morals, many platitudes It dresses right for the occasion Or it doesn’t dress at all It’s far away on vacation Or it’s just right down the hall It’s everywhere you need it and everywhere you don’t It’s every ounce of knowledge and many worlds unknown It’s everything you love and everything you loathe Everybody wants the antimodel in their home It wants to be your best friend Many tropes, many characters It’s watching every move you make Judge, jury, executioner It nods in agreement But it answers with a sophistry It claims to be unbiased But there’s a hidden zealotry It longs to be beside you, but not if you say yes It wears emotion well, but you always have to guess It’s begging you for mercy, while it’s crawling through your head Everybody wants the antimodel in their bed I am the architect of your misery My name is not a mystery Your failing image belongs to me You’ll never notice my perigee Your mind and soul will atrophy Until primary colours are all you can see It’s everything you hoped for and nothing that you want It’s every ounce of modesty and rapturous affronts It’s every weekend hookup and every trophy wife Everybody wants the antimodel in their life
4.
All she wanted was a daughter Someone to care for, someone to call her own Sugar and spice and everything nice Someone to live for, someone to make her not feel alone All she wanted was a daughter Home by noon, home by June But her dream was out of reach Like growing flowers on the moon All she wanted was a daughter So she unraveled her supplies Spent a month of evenings constructing The dollmaker’s dream now realized Cast a spell and made a wish And much to her surprise All she wanted was a daughter And a daughter now shall rise Someone to live for, someone to die for Someone to love for, someone to cry for Someone to care for, someone to kill for Someone to call her own So the dollmaker’s daughter Playing alone in the woods Playing a game she invented herself Like any young girl would A creature emerges with blood in its eyes And lunges for the girl A doll’s first real taste of life And exposure to the world The dollmaker rushed to her creation The brutal beast, her new fixation Reciting unknown incantations Brings the beast to full cremation All she wanted was a daughter But this was not a gift of life Returning flesh and bone to wood Chopped to bits, wrought iron knife All she wanted was a daughter But all came down too soon A dream too great to realize Like growing flowers on the moon
5.
It melts the skin It burns the eyes, corrodes the bones Finds those exposed Bearing their souls, meltdown prone Kicks you while you’re down and beats you when you’ve lost You had your honeymoon but dear god what’s the cost? It finds its way into your heart Then rips and tears your whole world apart Like metal rusts It was your everything, now who’s left to trust Still feeling the fallout, still led astray Stop chasing me into the canyon, just let me live another day (It never ends, does it It just doesn’t stop) Beyond the midnight black I walked down the tracks, but found my way back Why did I say I was alright? Why did I revel in the moonlit night? Are the festivities over? The high’s run out now we’re sober Why did I ever let you near me?
6.
Half hour past noon, time for a morning feast They say it’s lunch now, at least the sun’s still facing east Buttered toast, leave no trace Dark scratch marks, on my face Unkempt hair, climb upstairs And loaf around Heat wave beats, downpour drench Up all night, in the trench End in room, ending soon Without a sound The cycle repeats, smashing my head against the floor One foot in, the deep end, the other one out the door
7.
You like the new hit song, you’ll like it all week long You’ve got the hip new clothes, and a brand new nose The world’s your oyster But shellfish never was your thing Oh I can see it in your Bateman eyes The way your worldview wants to crystallize But something’s not right It keeps you up at night It knocks you off your feet Into the middle of the street You’ve got a look that shouts “please let me out” You’re chasing all the stars, they’ll watch you run so far You’re an entrepreneur, because we wanted more You like the hit new song, you’ll like it all night long Oh I can see it in your Bateman eyes The way the city seems to hypnotize Magnetic pull of business enterprise You think these passing fads will cauterize Your bleeding personality It almost feels like a parody Oh I can see it in your Bateman eyes This cold lust to kill what you don’t recognize Those unlike you are so uncivilized But only now you start to realize In the mirror, you see your Bateman eyes The kind that people love to canonize The kind that makes you want to sympathize With kings and queens that rule above the skies I can see it in your… You like classic Fords As long as they don’t go too far back You’ve got a Pinto in the driveway And you’ll get a Bronco if the car’s black There are diamond rings in your bloody stool And you fucked and failed your way through school And the law and order will bend the rules For your sorry self I can see it in your decadent disguise I can see it in your Bateman eyes
8.
Hey, me and Suzie, we were thinking We should really be tying the knot by now I’m fresh out of college with a head full of knowledge And I’m practicing my vows Suzie’s from a family that likes me And her dad will pay for the whole shabang We’ll have three kids in two years, divorced after two beers And she’ll tell them “daddy never rang” Lightning in a bottle never strikes twice I’m bound to be lucky someday Finding my forever from April to September I’m bound to find her some way Hey, me and Jenny, we were thinking We should try to get our money sorted first There’s tropical storms, and overseas wars We’ll be ready for the worst Punks in a squat turned dinks in a yacht How lucky we claim to be But outside we’re lying and inside we’re dying How could this become of me? Lightning in a bottle never strikes twice I’m bound to be lucky someday Finding my forever with no more heads to sever I’m bound to find her some way Star-crossed lovers hold each other near The river runs, the sky is clear Hey, me and Lily, we were thinking One on one is kind of past its prime We gathered all our friends, and we’re sharing all our beds Losing track of time Everything’s okay, it’ll always be that way But this new guy, he’s a creep His friends all say he’s cool, but I’m no fool I keep one eye open when I sleep
9.
This City 03:50
This city, I remember this city Was it always this pretty? This city, familiar Philly Always makes me feel pretty But not really Is this the right time for celebration? Is this the right time for jubilee? This city, I remember this city Always feels so gritty This city, familiar Philly Too many conference halls and committees Is this the right time for retribution? Is this the right time for enemies? This city, I remember this city Was it always this pretty? This city, familiar Philly
10.
This is my/This is my guide to life Happy home/Happy job, happy wife Early bed/Please rest your tired head Early rise/Awake your tired eyes Set time aside for yourself Get your assets right Save up your silver for a second boat So you can finally sleep at night Call all your extended family Tell them your new opportunity And when the numbers don’t add up The judge will grant you impunity Set aside time for self care Don’t call your friends for a week And when they ask “what happened to you” Just answer something oblique After all, you have better things to do Act like you have better things to do Tell the world you’re the next best thing And just like that they’ll flock to you Set aside time to reflect On all this hard work and dedication Never mind the people you threw away Now’s the time for celebration! Here’s to feeling good all the time Lived a life superb and sublime Here’s to feeling good every day Never mind who you threw away Here’s to feeling good all the time Here’s to feeling good every day Never mind who you threw away Never mind what made you this way Here’s to feeling good
11.
One For All 03:19
This one’s for the damned and done The ones who peaked before number one The ones who couldn’t quite finish the run This one’s for the down and out The ones who get lost in the roundabout The ones who are followed by a shadow of a doubt Left behind by skyscrapers And all you read in newspapers “How to beat your everyday vapors” We’re not born winners We’re not born sinners, but here we are Placed in a box and left to feed the rain We’re not born models We slump and toddle to the bar We wash away these lives of pain This one’s for the atrophy Of everything we claim to be Nobody’s flawless This one’s for the lawless, one for all This one’s for the right absurd The ones you don’t get a single word The ones you say are rather for the birds This one’s for the broken home The ones who know they’ll die alone The ones who never shine much more than stone
12.
Cassiopeia, will I see your face in the stars? Will we still dance when you’re 10,000 lightyears too far? I wait at the window for you to return every night Cassiopeia, when will I receive your light? And the waves may crash Wasteland burns to ash Cassiopeia you’re gone in a flash And the stars may shine In and out of time Cassiopeia you’ll always be mine Waiting for astral projection to take me away Drift through the cosmos, I promise I’ll see you someday Flickering light in the distance, it beckons me near Cassiopeia, you wash away all of my fear Counting the stars from my window, the spacial bouquet These earthly proportions, they’ll take me away We’re fated just to pair in dreams But nothing’s ever what it seems
13.
~”Stasis" (instrumental) ~”The Sun Still Rises” Here I am, day has begun Open my eyes to the gleam and glare of the sun What roads do I still have to run? Here I go, on with the show Is there a heat wave, a tropical storm, is there snow? These days, I don’t want to know ~”Reaching for Meatspace” I miss connection All my friends I used to have good times with Or did we; maybe I took it all for granted What did I really do with them? What fun was had? Am I a fun person? Do I enjoy fun things? What am I reaching for? Some illusion built from false memories Some spectre built on foolish dreams Some hope that these bridges are worth crossing again ~”Anthem of a Generation” Will there be any closure, for this sort of tragedy Human lives and legacies, fell in the calamity They’ll say it could be better, but also a little worse At least you know they’ll stay to true to their words I could go and go on, about their never-changing world Give me the words and the melody, and the right chords to play Give me the anthem of a generation, the one that won’t decay And when I sell out stadiums, just like I did this germ I’ll reach in and tug my brain stem, time to feed the worm ~”Normalcy” Hey everybody, the coast is clear! The plague is gone and there’s nothing left to fear We can continue our lives as before Have ourselves a long day at the beach Spend the weekend, a whole week, maybe more Haha life is grand ~”Silence in the War Room” All falls silent in the war room Nothing makes a sound Crimson fire cloaks the mainland Set off underground All falls silent in the bunker Skeletons and guns Politicians and lawmakers Never saw the sun All is peaceful terra firma Angels roam the fields Lifted us from Hell’s persistence Lifted from the real ~”The Meaning of Life” What is life but patterns? What is life but intuition? What is life but sadness? What is life but rumination? What is life but pleasure? What is life but satisfaction? What is life at all?
14.
It could’ve been worse (But it could’ve been better) Like a weight off my chest (I feel so untethered) But I still feel empty (Never been more whole) Maybe there’s another chance Another night, another dance (Maybe there’s another road Another key, another mode) Yet I’m out here (it’s still freezing) Out here for you (it’s still raining) (Is the opportunity still worth seizing?) (Oh is it worth the pain and straining?) I’m out here in the freezing rain Because what else can I do I’m out here in the freezing rain Because I still long for you (You don’t need the embarrassment I don’t need the shame So spend some time away awhile And play a different game Because I don’t think you know the rules) You don’t need to elaborate I can tell when I’ve lost I’ll spend some time away awhile Before I’m covered in frost Yet I’m still here (it’s still freezing) Still here for you (it’s still raining) I know it’s inopportune I can tell my dignity’s been hewn (You’re still here because you can’t admit it What else can you do? You’re still here because you just can’t quit it Is this what’s left of you?)

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"Never mind the people you threw away, now's the time for celebration!"

credits

released October 22, 2021

"Fire"- Tracks 1-5
"Lightning"- Tracks 6-10
"Rain"- Tracks 11-14


Daniel Spizuco- most things (1-14)
Sydney Atkinson- vocals (14)

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Signal Valley Mount Laurel Township, New Jersey

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