Hey, me and Suzie, we were thinking
We should really be tying the knot by now
I’m fresh out of college with a head full of knowledge
And I’m practicing my vows
Suzie’s from a family that likes me
And her dad will pay for the whole shabang
We’ll have three kids in two years, divorced after two beers
And she’ll tell them “daddy never rang”

Lightning in a bottle never strikes twice
I’m bound to be lucky someday
Finding my forever from April to September
I’m bound to find her some way

Hey, me and Jenny, we were thinking
We should try to get our money sorted first
There’s tropical storms, and overseas wars
We’ll be ready for the worst
Punks in a squat turned dinks in a yacht
How lucky we claim to be
But outside we’re lying and inside we’re dying
How could this become of me?

Lightning in a bottle never strikes twice
I’m bound to be lucky someday
Finding my forever with no more heads to sever
I’m bound to find her some way

Star-crossed lovers hold each other near
The river runs, the sky is clear

Hey, me and Lily, we were thinking
One on one is kind of past its prime
We gathered all our friends, and we’re sharing all our beds
Losing track of time
Everything’s okay, it’ll always be that way
But this new guy, he’s a creep
His friends all say he’s cool, but I’m no fool
I keep one eye open when I sleep